“I love you.” How often do we say this? There are those who exclaim it without internalizing the depth and meaning, after all, we are a society that loves everything. “I love those shoes.” “I love going to the beach.” “I love Whataburger’s honey butter chicken sandwich.” (Okay, I truly do love the honey butter chicken sandwich). For others, sharing an “I love you” is a sacred declaration saved for only a few. And of course, there are still others who cannot utter those three little words at all. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter if we are an over-love, emotional-love, or a never-love proclaimer. What matters is that we love. We are called to love and love greatly.
So, how do you express love? Words? Deeds? Poetry? Song? (According to a University of Florida study, 64% of all songs are about love.) There’s endless research, best selling books, and limitless articles examining the way we communicate love. Despite the abundance of resources and opinions, my unofficial, unscientific, non-peer-reviewed verdict proclaims that, no matter how it is expressed, love is in the details.
As I watch parents and children shopping for school supplies and new clothes, I think of my mom. When I was young, Mom sewed our clothes and they were beautiful. Instead of shopping for our outfits, we spent hours sitting on the tall cushioned stools in front of the pattern catalogues followed by browsing the fabrics, picking out buttons, zippers and corresponding thread. Back then, I did not consider or appreciate the time and labor Mom devoted to clothing us; I took it and her for granted. After all, she was always sewing. You might presume she sewed out of necessity and you would probably be correct. But it was more than a means to an end. Her love was in the details. The perfect stitches. The complementing buttons. The effortless-looking zipper. The top stitch designs. The serendipitous details that made me feel special. I might not have understood at the time, but I do now.
When I open my eyes and my heart, I recognize that love is all around us. It’s the artfully arranged charcuterie board prepared to be shared just with you. It is in the Pinterest-challenged teacher who gives up personal days off to decorate a classroom, for yet faceless children. It is the elderly man who drives to the nursing home three times a day to spoon-feed his wife of 63 yrs., knowing she will not remember that he was even there.
So much time and energy could be saved. A hunk of cheese, a chunk of salami, a jar of pickles and some crackers still in the box would be tasty and fill the hunger. Students can be educated in classrooms with desks in straight rows and blank walls. And paid staff assists residents of nursing homes with their meals everyday; it is their job. The outcomes remain the same; only one thing is missing … love. Because love is in the details.
