Read the Sign

Like countless other people, I walk through life juggling numerous tasks at a time:  work,  family, the pets, attempting to fulfill what I perceive to be others’ expectations of me, planning for the holidays, cleaning house, cooking and personal growth.  I tell myself that I can successfully keep all of the balls in the air at one time, but I know it is not true.  I only have to see the dust on the furniture and dog hair along the baseboards, as I order take-out for dinner, to know that some tasks crash to the ground.  But I try.

In my daily planner I keep a list of “must do’s” prioritized by the letters “A”, “B” or “C”.  I diligently plan the night before and faithfully review the list each morning.  There is a sense of accomplishment experienced as an item is completed and checked off, but then I’m instantly overwhelmed again as I add new “must do’s” to the list.  The self-imposed stress distracts me from desired tranquility.

I’ve tried to meditate, but just as I approach that sweet moment of serenity, I remember I need to buy toilet paper or make a vet appointment for my dog who has allergies.  In the middle of prayers, I ask my Creator’s indulgences when I stop to add a new item to my planner.  I do not want to spend my life focusing on tasks and not finding inner peace. I think the Almighty has been trying to get my attention but I have been too over-programmed to listen.

Comedian Bill Engvall coined the phrase “Here’s your sign”, asserting that stupid people should carry a visible warning that they are indeed nincompoops.   I’ve never been a big fan of Bill or his cohorts on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, not Larry the Cable Guy or even Jeff Foxworthy who reminds us that we might be rednecks.  Nothing against these comedians, I’m sure many find them funny.  I don’t; probably because their societal observations hit too close to home.  I do agree, though, that I need a sign, but for other reasons.

One morning, when I was still teaching high school, I found a post-it-note on my desk.  It was in my handwriting, but I didn’t remember writing it.  It said, “Sit by Jesus”. What?! I want to walk with Jesus, talk to Jesus, lean into Jesus’ ever-loving arms, but why sit by Jesus? It haunted me all day until finally, the last class period, when Jesus walked into my room (Hey-Soos not Geez-Us). Then, after 6 hours of confusion, I remembered that I had promised another student that I would move him to the empty desk by Jesus (Hey-Soos) and jotted down a quick note as a reminder. I must admit it was nice, throughout the day, thinking about sitting by Jesus (Geez-Us) and the conversation we would have.  I needed that sign.

More recently, I received a “sign” in my work email.  The subject line simply read, “Last Chance to See God…”  and for some reason no previews were available.   I froze.  Seriously God?  Is this what it takes to get my attention, emailing me at work?  And is this a threat?  Last chance?  With trepidation I opened the message to find that it was simply an invitation from the Drama Director (not God) to the department’s presentation of Yasmina Reza’s “God of Carnage”.  The entire subject line, Last Chance to See God of Carnage, had been automatically edited to fit the allotted space, hence, Last Chance to See God.  I must admit that I was equally relieved and disappointed that God did not email me!  

I have pondered what an email from God would say.  I may never know, but never say never!  What I do know is that signs are all around us … reminders to stop, contemplate, appreciate, love, and see God.  The serendipitous flower that pushed through a crack in the sidewalk only to bloom in spite of its struggles.  The neighbor children’s laughter as they chase one another around the yard.  Lunch with a friend.  A cat on your lap.  The roar of waves as they meet the beach.  

So put down your to-do-list (it will still be there when you are refreshed).  Run through the surf, walk barefooted in grass, read a book, dance wildly in the kitchen, sing with abandonment even if you sing off key and when given the opportunity, sit by Jesus.